Timeless tradition

     
                                 Timeless tradition


      A recent study from the University of Pittsberg Kenneth P Dietrich school of Arts and sciences correlates the unhappy marital interaction with thicker carotid arteries and a higher risk of cardio-vascular diseases. It points out that the key to healthy heart is a happy marriage.
Human immune system needs companionship and social ties. A fundamental social connection and companionship for both men and women is marriage, and having a reasonably happy one is a major boon to health.
With the advent of psychoneuroimmunology- the study of ho emotions influence the central nervous system and immune system, the scientists have come to appreciate the system of marriage. When researchers documented the " marriage bonus " on health, they speculated how a stable home life might contribute to health and longevity.
Nutrition- Married people, especially those with children, are likely than singles to eat healthfully.
Bad habits- The social support provided by marriage helps people avoid and quit bad habits, particularly smoking,excessive drinking and overeating.
Risk-taking- This one relates to men, who, in general, take more risks than women. Compared with single men, husbands and fathers are less likely to drive race cars, skydive and engage in violent crimes and other reckless pursuits that might risk their lives.
Medical care- Finally, spouses often encourage each other to seek medical care. Loners may neglect to obtain care until diseases have progressed to the point where they are difficult to treat.
Furthermore, close social ties to spouses, friends, relatives and community organizations also enhance the immune system.

Here again the words of W. Somerset Maugham ring true,
" Tradition is a guide and not a jailor."
Because tradition asserts that a happy marriage is the solid foundation of a stable happy home and society.It is with experience and wisdom, the institution of marriage was built and nurtured throughout the world from times immemorial.
There is a beautiful saying,
' In the beginning, God made a man and a woman and set them on the earth. They looked at each other and burst out laughing. Then they traveled the earth together.'
So nature has made the union of man and woman a natural bond for their smooth travel on this earth. Their biological differences have been made complementary to each other.
The real ingredients of a happy marriage is the friendship between one man- one woman ( the same one ) built on mutual trust and love that leads to constancy and fidelity on both sides. This sharing of good and bad times makes the life happy and enjoyable.
An auspicious time, the presence of family, relatives and friends and the presence of divinity, all contribute to cementing this friendship in the form of wedding accompanied with many rites and rituals signifying rich symbolism and creating a festive atmosphere for all. The event becomes a memorable one in the life of a couple. Even Nature becomes congenial to a loving couple as is seen in the traditional blessings given to them.
' May the Sun bring you new energy by day,
 May the moon softly restore you by night,
 May the rain wash away your worries,
And the breeze blow new strength into your being,
And all of the days of your life may you walk,
Gently through the world and know its beauty.'

Friendship, this core essence of marriage is asserted in the rite of seven steps taken together by the couple around the sacrificial fire in Indian marriage.
Taking seven steps symbolizes desire for orderly prosperity. Seven is a mystical number signifying seven days of a week, seven horses ( colors) of the Sun, seven worlds starting from BhurBhuvahasvaha etc,seven sages, seven svaras of music, seven flames of fire etc.
The husband makes the wife step forward in northern direction seven steps with words, one step for grain, two for strength, three for prosperity, four for comfort, five for cattle ( that was the wealth in those days as agriculture was the main occupation ), six for things according to seasons,and the seventh for union and devotion to him( husband).Holding the bride's hand, the groom walks seven steps around the holy fire with her. Belief is that when one walks seven steps together , they become friends.
He says to his bride, " You have walked seven steps with me. You have become my companion, whereby I acquire your friendship, we shall remain together inseparable. Let's make a vow together." We shall share love, share the same food, share the strength and the same tastes.We shall be of one mind. Together we shall live, beget children and other riches."
      This ceremony is very important as marriage is regarded legally complete after this is performed.After this the bride gains the title ardhangini ( half self ). It is said,
" Of His own will God Himself divided into two portions. From the portion on the left woman emerged, from the portion on the right man emerged." So after marriage only,the man and the woman become complete
According to scriptures, a man is symbolic of knowledge. He has more opportunities to move out of the home. Through many experiences he gathers knowledge and wisdom. A woman is symbolic of devotion. With her commitment, she builds a home and ushers in harmony. Together, the two create an ideal combination.They can achieve more together than what either can individually.
It is also pointed out, that the institution of marriage is ordained by God in Atharva veda,
' O bride, that whom the protector of the universe gave to me, remain supported and nourished by me. O ye, procreating lady ! may you live hundred autumns delightfully with me as your husband.'
This shows that mutual bond bond of hearts of husband and wife is the greatest source of confidence and longevity.
In order to keep discipline in the society, it is absolutely essential that man and woman should enter into proper wedlock. Without it, woman would be reduced to the position of a raw material and saleable. To avoid this, God has ordained the institution of marriage. Vedas have even placed specific duty on kings to see that marriage of their subjects are protected. Marriage is a bond of not only this life but a bond of eternity. It is believed that a devoted wife follows the same equally devoted husband in all births to come.This chastity gives her immense power.There are stories where by virtue of the power of her chastity, wives brought their husbands from the clutches of death, even with the power of their chastity, they could seek vengeance against the rulers when injustice was done to their husband. such was the glory of a virtuous wife ! So there is no scope for any idea of divorce or remarriage of any party. Vedic marriage is not a contract, breakable at will, but a sacramental action having the sanction of religion.
Marriage perpetuates the traditions of the family.She is the helpmate of man, mother of his children.She keeps the home, comforts her husband in loneliness and weariness and nurses him when he is sick. Not only this, she expands the family of her husband. Woman is the power and strength of his family.
It is beautifully addressed to a young bride thus,
' O bride ! you are in fact queen of the whole family. You govern your father-in-law,mother-in-law brother-in-law,and sister-in-law and control the affairs of the household.'
She conquers all through her love and service. What a splendid vision !
When such are state of affairs, the wife and her husband will live in harmony, loving each other, then the house will be a heaven.
Even now this relationship of husband-wife is maintained and perpetuated in all parts of India through celebration of various annual festivals like Karva chauth, Karadaiyan nombu etc. And no religious worship is complete without equal participation of both husband and wife together. Thus the eternal bond is always kept renewed.
Most of the malaises affecting society like drug addiction, adultery, suicide, domestic violence can be nipped in the bud itself if people are made to understand the sanctity of marriage-purity of man-woman relationship. Because it is the solid base of a happy family. Family is the unit of society. When home is sweet and peaceful, the society will automatically become a healthy and prosperous one.

Many wise sayings with regard to this sacrament called marriage are eternal truths.

' Love looks not with eyes, but with the mind.'

' one should believe in marriage as in the immortality of the soul.'

'Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but of looking outward in the same direction.'

' There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people,
who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.'
' In true marriage relation, the independence of the husband and wife is equal,the dependence mutual and their obligations reciprocal.'
It is beautifully summed up,
' In marriage do thou be wise, prefer the person before the money, virtue before beauty, the mind before the body, then thou has a wife, a friend, a companion, a second self.'