Bites of sour truth but sweet to taste

     

•   All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
•   If you’re not confused, you’re not paying attention.
•  An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in such a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your fault.
• In the beginning the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
• I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
• It’s easy to play any instrument; All you have to do is touch the right key at the right time and the instrument will play itself.
• The two biggest sellers in bookstores are cook books and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it.
• Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
• Women have wonderful instinct about things. They can discover anything except the obvious.
• Conclusion is a stage where you get tired of thinking.